Relationship Chronicles: 4

5 Ways To Understand What You NEED Out of A Relationship

  1. Define your core values: Our core values are the foundation of who we are. In order to know these, you have to truly know yourself and what you strongly believe in and want for your life. Things that are the most important to you in other words. Core values can be: marriage, family, your career, religious beliefs, even how you feel about honesty, trust, and fidelity and the importance they have in a relationship. It would benefit you if the person you’re interested in has these same values.
  2. Understand your emotional needs: These needs define the finer points of our relationships. Emotional needs are just as important as core values. Maybe you seek the need for intimacy and satisfying sexuality, the need to be honored, and the need to be accepted by your partner. Find someone who meets those needs. Find someone who understands their role in fulfilling those needs.
  3. Identify your love pattern: Finding someone that meets your emotional needs and core values is a plus. Now it’s time to understand what you have received from your precious relationships that have brought the best out in you. Growth, fulfillment, safety, security, and the act of being yourself are good things to consider when focusing on your own personal love pattern. Relationships that contribute to positivity, happiness( although things wont always be sunshine and unicorns), and make you feel good are the types that should be sought after.
  4. Test drive a POTENTIAL relationship: Look inside yourself. Find out what’s inside of you that will attract the right person for you. Apply what you find to seek a partner. But be careful because doing this can bring on mistakes. Make sure not to ONLY consider good looks and a likable personality as a way to determine if this person is what you need before you actually know them. Don’t let your head and heart go in opposite directions when making your decision because your heart will when every time. I guarantee it! Once you have figured this all out, you can “free trial run” the relationship first and just date. This will help your emotional state and give you time to get to know the person before you get too serious.
  5. Once you’re dating, go in for a three-month checkup:  If the relationship is going well from your observation, start dating more seriously after two months. However,  don’t get too comfortable because just like a new car, it is time to get the “three-month checkup”. Do this for about 3-4 months. Ask yourself if this person is still holding up to the same standards as you initially thought they had when you first met. If not, pay attention. These early on signs are red flags. Cut your losses before any more valuable time is wasted. If the person is still the same, continue on dating more exclusively.
I really hope that this was beneficial to someone. We all should sit back and think about what we need in a relationship vs what we THINK we need. A lot of the time we settle for what we want even if it isn’t beneficial to us. I hope you enjoyed!
Thanks for reading!
The Rambling Tea


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