Like many, I have been in a few toxic relationships in the past. If I would have realized what was going on in front of my eyes, I could have saved myself from torture. If you know like I know, a toxic relationship is everything but fun. If it’s toxic, detoxify your life and leave! This is not a gender specific post. This goes for ANYONE who may need some insight! Here are some signs to look out for…
- Someone in the relationship is keeping score: If you or your partner are keeping tabs on how many arguments you have in a day or how many times you or the other messes up, it’s time to call it quits.
- They make you feel stupid: Your partner should never, I repeat, NEVER tear you down. Their job is to encourage, motivate, and bring you up. They should NEVER make you feel bad about the way you do certain things, certain foods you like, or certain hobbies you have. Doing this is a good reason to walk away.
- Can’t take responsibility: Every time there is an argument, your partner never seems to be able to admit when they are wrong, say good bye because that will NEVER change. Grown adults are able to take responsibility for their own actions. If your partner can’t do that, well, you have an emotionally immature teenager on your hands if you ask me.
- Constant break-up threats: If you or your partner can’t fully express your emotional needs or feelings without the fear of them causing conflict between you two, then you’re definitely in a toxic relationship. Do they say things like,” I can’t be with someone that doesn’t understand!” instead of saying,”It really bothers me when you don’t understand where I am coming from.” Think about that.
- Name calling is normal: No, I am not talking about pet names like “baby”,”bae”,”sweetie”, and “dear”. I am talking about the names that are meant to either consciously or purposely hurt you. That is verbal abuse and it is one of the main things look out for. Negative name calling back and forth is not something you do to someone you love or care about. End it!
- They go MIA: When you are in a relationship and you have an argument or fight, running away or ignoring the person for days at a time that you “love” and “care” about is a definite no-no! If your partner can disappear on you (or if you live with them once you do something to upset them they ignore you for DAYS or even WEEKS) and pick up whenever THEY SEE FIT like nothing ever happened in the first place, then this person needs to go MIA and NEVER return! In my opinion, this is so immature. I have experienced this myself and it is definitely an eye opener of treatment that you will continue to have from this person. Trust me when I tell you, this childish act wont change and you will see how it takes a toll on you after a while if you decide to stay.
- You are NOT allowed to grow: People change overtime. As we get older, we start to figure ourselves out. Goals my change, things we value may change, and things we want out of life may change. In a relationship, your partner should be willing to accept and embrace your change. It would be even better if they could change and grow with you. If they try to hold you back from your dreams and goals or try to tare you down and stop you from growing, it’s time to move on and grow without them!