Hey ladies and gents!
I have been getting a lot of questions about relationships lately. Most of these questions have been about “COMMITMENT”. Well, for all of you out there that know me (or have read any of my previous posts), I am very opinionated when it comes to relationships and the things that I think are acceptable and things that aren’t.
Now, when I hear the word “COMMITMENT” I think of the ultimate one….MARRIAGE. Again, this is just my opinion so feel free to disagree with me on this if you must. Yes, you can be in a “COMMITTED” relationship, but the actual “COMMITMENT” is when you both say,”I do” before God, place rings on each others finger, and vow to love one another ’til death do you both part. That is the actual commitment. I say this because when you are just boyfriend and girlfriend, that is exactly what you are. You are NOT his wife, and he is NOT your husband. I don’t care how long you have been together, or if you live together and ACT as if you are HUSBAND and WIFE. COMMITMENT to me is not what boyfriend and girlfriends do. That my friends, is what I call “DATING”. Yes, when you are in a relationship and you really love that person, you will be COMMITTED to them in a sense but not really. I call that the CHOICE to only be with that one guy or girl. But the ACTUAL COMMITMENT is when you BOTH CHOOSE to be with one another for the rest of your lives. Not just be boyfriend and girlfriend forever.
This brings me to my next point….”Shacking up” together. No, I am not perfect. No, I am not married. So keep in mind that this is just my opinion. I was always taught that you date, get engaged, get married, and then move in together. I’m sure most people were taught this as well. However, we are in 2014 and I am sure that most people don’t go by this at all anymore. I’m not even going by this. When you love someone and are in a relationship, sometimes things happen and you end up living with each other. Now, when doing that, you start to become comfortable, pay bills with each other, learn the ways of one another, and so on. But, depending on the person, this may also result in what I call a “STAND STILL”. This means, that there is NO RUSH to change things since you are living and acting as if you are a “MARRIED COUPLE”. Why would things change? Your partner may want you to cook for them, clean up after them, give them sex whenever they want, and pretty much whatever else a “WIFE” or “HUSBAND” is supposed to do for their spouse. (Now every relationship is different and everyone doesn’t have to go through this, but in most cases this is true. ) This is where the issue is. It is ok to do nice things for your girlfriend or boyfriend. It is ok to try to test things and see how they could possibly be for you two in the future, but it is NOT ok to expect things from your BOYFRIEND or GIRLFRIEND that should honestly be coming from your HUSBAND or WIFE! You can however expect your girlfriend or boyfriend to treat you with RESPECT, show you what LOYALTY is, and most importantly LOVE.
I feel that the purpose of a relationship is to build up to MARRIAGE. Grow, learn, and build each other up to that TRUE COMMITMENT. Don’t expect your BOYFRIEND to act like your HUSBAND or your girlfriend to act like your WIFE if there are no RINGS and no one has said, “I DO”.